Filter Coffee #034

On the Vanishing Landline

Thank you friends for sharing your own thoughts on discussions, debates and arguments.

One of my readers wondered if an opinion could form the basis for all three! I gave it some thought. If I said, “In my opinion, the COVID situation in India has been handled fairly well”, there could be:

• A discussion on how it could have been handled better.

• A debate on “China has handled COVID better than India.”

• An argument that the establishment did not act swiftly and is responsible for all the deaths and other consequences.

• A counterargument that for a nation with a population of 1.5 billion people, our statistics show how well we have managed to contain the epidemic and then go on to rubbish the anti-establishment comments.

Is a statement different from an opinion? 'Opinion' simply means a personal view that has not been validated or lacks certainty. An opinion is an expression of belief. A statement, on the other hand, is a declaration based on one's own understanding of the facts and circumstances of a situation. It is always a challenge to differentiate an opinion from a statement.

One of my avid readers, Shahji, commented on the so-called debates on TV channels. I quite see his viewpoint. The panelists either try to outshout each other or get outshouted by the anchor who is expected to moderate the panel discussion. Oh my! It is arguably neither a debate nor a discussion but a shouting match or, better still, we could call it an out-shouting match.

☎️ The Vanishing Landline

On this day in 1878, the world's first telephone book was issued by the New Haven Connecticut Telephone Company containing the names of its 50 subscribers.

Telephone directories were a common sight in all the homes where there was a telephone and typically they would be kept in a corner shelf that served as the telephone table. In those days they were not referred to as landlines. It is only recently, with the advent of mobile phones, that the term landline came into vogue.

Cell phones revolutionized telecommunication. It was on July 31st 1995 that the first mobile call was made on handheld phones by the telecom minister from Delhi to Late Sri Jyoti Basu in Kolkata.

Since then, landlines have become a rarity in ordinary homes. They may still be very much part of an office. But, the rotary phones on which you dialled the number patiently till your finger became numb have been replaced by the push-button type.

I trust the landline that I still have at home and the office. Invariably, I find myself telling the caller “please call me on the landline, the signal is bad here.” But then if the caller has no access to a landline, the problem may persist. Another good thing about the landline is no telemarketers seem to call, though wrong numbers persist both on landlines and cell phones. 

During my school days, home telephones were kind of a symbol of affluence. But getting a telephone was a challenge. One had to apply for a connection either under the open category or the OYT category (own your telephone scheme). People used to joke about the waiting period. They would say “open category means you will be lucky if you get it and under OYT you get it when you get it.”

Well, when eventually your turn comes, the linesman will come to your house holding that awesome looking phone and you offer him water, coffee and some sweets as well. Though the connection has been paid for, he would expect to be paid for the wiring and connecting it to the pole. You are so eager to get connected that you don’t mind paying. The wiring is done and your instrument is hooked on to the pole. You are now itching to make the call and you have decided to call your beit noire. You keep the receiver to your ear hoping to hear that musical dial tone and the linesman who is now drinking coffee tells you that the junction box out on the street is to be connected and the activation will happen in a few days. Few? Oh, OK in about a week if you are lucky. The linesman is ready to leave and he looks at you expectantly. You say you have paid for the wiring. He says that’s just material cost. You are in no mood to give him any more money but the fear of delayed activation grips your heart and you manage a constipated grin and give him some cash and say, “Swalpa adjust maadi. Please connect soon.”

Days pass by and then, the day the phone rings for the first time... you are not at home. 😔

Once the phone is activated, you begin to discover that you have very ‘friendly’ neighbours. They come in single file, in a staggered manner, and enquire about your health (so ominous) and after a bit of small talk comes the dreaded question, “May I make a phone call please?” Some talk for a few minutes and some for forty. At the end, as if to make you wanted, they say, “Here sir, my son wants to say hello to you.” You somehow manage to be civil and say hello and when the prodigal son thanks you for letting his dad use the phone you summon enough presence of mind and just grunt, but swallow the usual words, “You are welcome. Any time.”

I have seen telephones since the days when people had three or four-digit telephone numbers and would have to go through the operator to get connected to another number. There was no guarantee that he or she would not hear the conversation. There’s an anecdote about this. A son calls up the father through the operator and tries to wangle Rs. 50 from him (a big sum in those days). The father pretends not to hear and keeps saying the line is not clear. The operator interjects and tells the father, “Sir, line is clear, your son is asking for Rs. 50.” The father is quick to tell the operator, “If you can hear, why don’t you send him Rs. 50?”

Back then, we had categories of calls. Local calls and trunk calls. The phrase ‘trunk call’ is derived from the telecommunication technology called ‘trunking’ which means connecting two or more networks. If you wanted to call a number in Chennai, you used the trunk route and so the term trunk call.

Before the introduction of STD (subscriber trunk dialling) trunk calls had to be booked by dialling the exchange and waiting for the call to be connected. The call could be booked either as a number call or PP call (particular person) which was more expensive, and if that person is unavailable there would be a nominal charge. But if it was a number called you ended up paying for the first three minutes — even if the person you wished to speak with was not around. Of course in a PP call, the person himself may pick up the phone and tell the operator ‘he is not available’ if that suited him.

Trunk calls were ordinary, urgent and lightning. The joke then was: When you book an ordinary call you look at the calendar and hope it comes through in a few days. When you book an urgent call you look at the clock and hope it comes through sometime during the day. When you book the lightning call you end up getting through in a couple of hours and yet pay a hefty charge (in those days, the operator would tell you the amount instantly so that if you are using someone else’s phone you could settle the account). The general advice those days was that you should save lightning calls for a rainy day. That’s when lightning works!

In those days, making a call to a foreign country was unthinkable given the steep tariff. Even with the introduction of ISD (international subscriber dialling) many subscribers barred ISD and used a code to lock the phone to prevent unauthorised STD calls. Some used to put a lock on the rotary dial to prevent local calls from being made indiscriminately.

Many establishments came to be set up like VSNL which was jokingly referred to as ‘very slow network limited’, MTNL which was made the abbreviation for the Hindi saying “mera telephone nahi lagta”. In the early days, when BSNL started mobile services, there were some teething problems, which earned it the name “bekaar signal network limited”. Now all these are things of the past. Never has telecommunication been so revolutionised as it is now and that process is still ongoing.

You can appreciate how technology has turned the whole telecommunications industry on its head. You now have a number of options that come free of charge. No need for me to tell you what they are.

The good news is that telephone operators are not completely done away with. Their numbers may have shrunk but you still see a lot of receptionist cum telephone operators. I am reminded of a joke about a very smart girl from Kerala being interviewed for this job. 

The interviewer says with a smirk “I believe you girls from Kerala are very smart? I will give you three words and you must use make them part of a phone call. The three words are Green, Yellow and Orange.” 

The girl doesn’t even blink and says, “Green green green the phone rings and I pick it up and say yellow, yellow and after listening I will say, no problem Sir, I will orange it.” She got the job undoubtedly.

Dear readers, I hope you enjoyed reading this. If you thought FC #34 turned out to be a ‘wrong number’ please forebear but don’t hang up! See you next week! Stay safe and be alert.