Filter Coffee #069

On Happiness

Dear Readers,

The hurriedly written post on ‘Placeholder’ held the attention of my readers beyond my expectation. I received many compliments and some of my readers shared their experience with ‘placeholder’.

One such experience shared by my dear friend Ashvini Ranjan will make you smile and is worth narrating. 

“When we were in our twenties, my friend and I came to Bangalore from Mysore just to see the movie Goldfinger which was running in Rex theatre on Brigade Road. We were desperate to see the movie but there was a long queue for tickets. It became clear that we had no chance of getting the tickets, so we surveyed the longline and spotted two girls quite ahead in the line and decided to make them our placeholders. We approached them and turned on our charm and eventually, the girls agreed to buy us the tickets.

Tickets bought, we entered the theatre imagining the pleasure of being seated next to the girls and chatting them up. As we entered, the lights had been dimmed and we found ourselves ushered in the dark to the first row, right in front of the screen, from where you can see more of the ceiling than the movie, not to mention getting a crick in the neck. During intermission, we looked up the aisle and found the two girls sitting many rows behind, furtively glancing at us and giggling. We realised that we had been put in place for treating them as our placeholders!”

Another regular reader Latha Ambat shared her experience of throwing in a kerchief or a towel through the window as the train from Mysore to Bangalore came on to the platform. Those were the days when you did not have the online reservation facility. ‘Throwing in the towel’ had an entirely different meaning those days!

😃 Happiness

On this day, in 2017, a note written by Albert Einstein on a small piece of paper was auctioned in Jerusalem and it fetched US$ 1.56 mil. I was fascinated and decided to devote this FC to that note.

This note was given by Einstein to a courier in the Imperial Hotel in Japan when he visited that country in 1922. The courier came to deliver something and Einstein did not have any loose change to tip him. Though the courier did not expect tips, Einstein scribbled two notes, signed them and handed them over to the courier saying “Maybe if you’re lucky these notes will become much more valuable than just a regular tip.”

Einstein's prediction turned out to be true. After 95 years, on October 24th 2017, The porter’s brother’s son, who inherited the notes, benefitted from the prophetic prediction of, by then the very famous Einstein, and he became a millionaire.

So, what was written in these notes? In one note Einstein had simply scribbled, “Where there is a will there's a way,” and this note reportedly fetched US$ 240,000. 

The second note, scribbled in German on the stationery of The Imperial Hotel, Tokyo, read: “A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest.” This fetched US$ 1.56 mil in the auction.

This line is widely characterized as Einstein’s ‘Happiness Theory’. Unlike any other theory which needs to be proved or substantiated, Einstein's happiness theory needed no such proof. Let us look at a few key words in his note. They are: “quiet”, “modest”, “pursuit of success” and “constant unrest”.

• Quiet or quietude represents a state of calm or being at peace. It is a harbinger of happiness. It implies that if you are at peace with yourself the turmoils of the materialistic world are unlikely to cloud your thinking.

• Modesty has many meanings but is relatable to the happiness of a person who is unassuming and is unperturbed by what others might think of her. Harry Truman said, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets credit.” Achieving something together brings happiness.

• Pursuit of success has the inherent potential to induce stress and anxiety. Whilst it is not a bad thing to pursue and do what it takes to succeed, it is important to remember that success does not come easy and will involve dealing with disappointment — sacrificing something tangible or intangible in one’s life which is patently an antithesis to happiness. 

• Constant unrest experienced when in pursuit of success is clearly an indication that the person in pursuit is not savouring the progress that he is making but is blindsided by the insatiable urge to achieve the object of pursuit. He derives no happiness during the whole process. Simply put it is a feeling of dissatisfaction and is symbolic of a disturbed mind. It could make man toss and turn and lose sleep over something that he thought was entitled to.

As you can see, Einstein did not use the word 'happiness' in his note. Instead, he said “..brings more joy”’. Since joy represents a state of happiness, I suppose Einstein was right in using the word 'joy’ in his note. So, is there a distinction to be made between joy and happiness or are they synonymous? At first blush, it would appear so but joy and happiness are products of differing circumstances. An easy differentiation is to look at the opposite of these two words. The opposite of joy is fear and the opposite of happiness is misery or unhappiness. 

Circumstantially, happiness differs from joy. You could feel happy but to experience joy you need to get to another level. Let me take the simple example of a joy ride. A youngster is very happy to have gone to Universal Studios but the real joy comes when she goes on her favourite ride. Which is more durable? Happiness or joy? The ride no doubt gave her joy. At the end of that ride, she is thinking of the next ride that gives her joy but she continues to be happy with the experience of being in a fun place. 

Simply put, happiness is a state of mind that is relatable to the happy circumstances one is in. Joy is about feeling elated but does not last as long as happiness. If you are included in the cricket team you feel very happy but if you are not included in the playing eleven you feel unhappy. If you are included, you feel happy. But when you score 50 runs or when you take a wicket, the emotion that you experience is one of Joy. Extending the logic, if your team wins everyone is happy and if not, there’s a miserable feeling all around. If you are a spectator you intermittently experience joy when a wicket is taken or when a sixer is hit by the team you root for, but lasting happiness is when the team wins.

A woman feels happy that she is becoming a mother but the true joy is felt when the baby is born. That moment of joy turns into a state of happiness as she savours motherhood. 

Is being content a sign of happiness? It may seem so but it is not. If you are expecting a promotion and for organisational reasons you are not promoted but you are compensated with a substantial pay hike, deep within you are disappointed at not getting promoted which is the state of discontent or unrest that Einstein alluded to in his note. If indeed you analyse the situation rationally you will begin to feel happy and be content with the hefty raise and consider that as a recognition of your good performance. Negativity is an expression of criticism or pessimism and if negativity is replaced with positive and rational thinking, the discontent diminishes.

Vicarious pleasure is derived from circumstances without a person being part of it. Does vicarious pleasure mean happiness? Yes, but It depends on the context. If the team that you back wins, you derive a vicarious pleasure of being a supporter of that team and share that happiness. You experience vicarious pleasure when a stand-up comedian makes fun of himself or the politicians or of some situation. 

I came across this German word “Schadenfreude” which means the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another. This kind of pleasure cannot be equated to happiness. If you are interested in knowing more, please visit Schadenfreude.

We have heard the phrase ‘in pursuit of happiness’. This is the opposite of the ‘pursuit of success’ that Einstein refers to in his note. The pursuit of happiness is not predicated on achieving success.

You may pursue success and yet be happy with what little you are able to achieve. If you are unhappy with what you achieved and if you are under that ‘unrest’ that Einstein mentions, meditation is indeed very helpful to feel happiness. If you are interested in knowing the basics of meditation please visit. How Do You Meditate? 8 Meditation Techniques for Complete Beginners 

Dear Readers, the small note that Einstein scribbled enthused me to write about happiness and joy. This is by no means a psychological or spiritual interpretation of these emotions. Far from it.

If you are happy with my effort please tell me and make me happy!

See you next week! Take care and be safe.