FC #105 was very well received. Thanks to all the readers who have been unwaveringly supporting me through their regular readership. I was touched when many readers reached out to me on the 7th of August expressing their disappointment at not having gotten the FC edition. Some commented that without FC the Sunday morning coffee doesn’t taste as good. I’m honoured.
For those who wondered why I did not post FC on the 7th of August, I wish to tell them that I was taking the flight back to India from the USA on the 4th of August and I could not have finished it before I landed in Bangalore on the 6th.
I received some interesting comments on FC #105. I will single out the comments made by a teenage reader, Vaishnavi, who wrote thus:
The c’est la vie attitude is a good way to deal with disappointments. It diverts our focus from the unfairness of a situation, which is always outside our control. There is a Sanskrit shloka that says that we can only control our actions, but have no agency over the results. Even the most diligent preparation and care can have an undesirable and disappointing result. We cannot change the results of our actions, so if something goes awry despite our every precaution, we must simply accept that it is ‘fate’, or that our hopes were not meant to be. I feel like this is a better attitude than wallowing in misery as some are wont to do. It allows people to move forward instead of focusing on the disappointments in life.
🤸♀️ Independence & Freedom
Dear Readers, tomorrow is a day of celebrations all over the country and in every other country where there’s Indian diaspora. ‘Azadi ka Amrit Mahotsav’ marks the 75th Independence Day of the Republic of India. A milestone in the journey of a nation. Happy 75th Independence Day to all of you.
India gained complete independence from the British on 15th August 1947 after a 200-year-long struggle. This I-Day is dear to the hearts of Indian citizens, whether living in India or abroad. This is the day on which we pay homage to freedom fighters who made unimaginable sacrifices and to those thousands of men and women who lost their lives for the nation to attain independence.
Are the words ‘Independence’ & ‘Freedom’ synonymous? Is there no difference between them? I am sure most of you would like to believe that they are not very different from each other. What If I said, “Independence is freedom, but freedom is not independence?” Would you agree? Would you agree with saying, “Freedom has no meaning without independence?”
Our nation got freedom from British Rule. It did not get Independence from the British. The freedom that we got made us independent of the influence that the British had over us in every walk of life. We were freed from tyranny. Our people no longer were slaves to the British. They were freed of all the shackles.
Freedom paved the way to self-determination and self-rule. We established the Rule of Law in place of the ‘The King can do no wrong.’ We ditched monarchy and established democracy. It was no longer a government that was ‘for the British, of the British & by the British’.
Please allow me to share a few thoughts on independence & freedom of our women folk. Our country is independent to chart its own destiny and its people are free to pursue their chosen paths. Certain personal freedoms enshrined in the Constitution are sacrosanct, but they have the fetters of reasonable restrictions. Even after 75 years, we find illiteracy and feudalism feeding on each other. The self-proclaimed feudal lords decide whether children should go to school or become farmhands. Illiteracy or lack of awareness subjugates the people to the whims of the feudal lords. The plight of the female child is woefully abominable. It is not even allowed to be born free. Female infanticide is the worst perpetuation of this. Sex determination, which leads to the heinous crime of snuffing the life out based on the gender of the baby, is outlawed. Yet we know that this barbaric practice continues in the darkness of ignorance and suppression.
If a female child is allowed to take birth, it soon faces the ignominy of child marriage. There are and have been instances of child trafficking. Every freedom of the female, from the cradle to the grave, is systematically denied. Whilst all of this is rampant in remote rural India, one cannot deny that even in urban India girls and women are denied certain rights. The educated women are emancipated and are aware of their rights, but even certain sections of female folks in the urban society are not much better off than their rural counterparts.
Urbanisation, education, awareness, and individuality may make a woman independent financially, but can she be free of various demands on her time? What does independence mean when her freedom is circumscribed by the duties and obligations imposed on her in a familial setting?
Failed marriages, domestic violence, and custody battles are perceived as an urban phenomenon, which is a travesty of the realities that hound the counterparts in the rural areas. The urban women can stand up for their rights, but the rural women are forced to live the life of chattel with a veil over their head prescribed by archaic customs, perhaps to help them hide their tears and their necks bent in subjugation.
Some may paint a less bleak picture of the rural women, but that is neither here nor there. The plight of women, rural or urban, is the bane of society. For so long as this aberration remains perpetuated, freedom has no meaning, and independence will remain a mere word lacking in spirit. Laws may have been made, but justice delivery is inadequate. Why women, even men think twice before going to the police station to file a complaint.
Freedom means you are free to do what you wish. If you do not have it, you are not independent. If you are not independent, you are not free to do what you wish. Contradictory as it may appear, even when you are independent, you may not be able to exercise your freedom due to inhibiting circumstances. Quite a cyclical proposition. There can be any number of examples that we can give to demonstrate that notwithstanding the emancipation of women, the kind of independence and freedom that men enjoy eludes them. Consider the following:
An educated lady gives up her job and marries a chauvinistic person who expects her to cook and look after his mother and be a ‘home-maker’, a title that has its roots in housewife. She is neither independent nor free to do what she would want. What liberties can she take to make her life interesting? Liberty means freedom of choice, but it is limited by the rights of others or the duties owed to others, whether voluntarily or imposed. So, this home-maker has the liberty to do what she wants after she has performed those duties. Some consolation!
We recognise that every lady has the right to choose. But, more often than not, that right, is encumbered. Either she is getting past the marriageable age or her brother refuses to get married before she does, so she becomes a sacrificial lamb and is made to marry a stranger. Even if she is a career woman, post-marriage she is neither independent nor has any freedom to do what she wants. She becomes the wage earner, shoring up the domestic kitty.
Without exception, everyone advocates economic independence for a woman. Simply because dependence is the antithesis of independence. We educate our daughters and prepare them to pursue their chosen careers, but is it easy to break the glass ceiling? Workplace discrimination, sexual harassment, inappropriate conduct, and male chauvinism are some of the maladies that plague the working woman, regardless of her rank or seniority.
The way a woman dresses, the way she grooms herself and the way she interacts with people, all of these come under the scrutiny of not just men but also other women who obviously do not have the freedom or independence to do likewise. She does not feel safe on our roads.
75 years and counting. India is independent, but an Indian woman is shackled one way or the other and her freedom is an evasive and illusory right. The responsibility to free women of the shackles and to let them become truly free and independent in all respects is on us, the men of this country, and we are far behind discharging that responsibility. Call me a feminist if you may. I shall deem it an honour.
I shall end this post with this quote:
It is a tragedy beyond the power of language to convey when what has been imposed on women by force becomes a standard of freedom for women: and all the women say it is so. — Andrea Dworkin*
*American feminist writer. Born 1946 Died 2005.
Freedom is nature's gift. Dependence or Independence is either self inflicted or socially imposed or politically enforced.
One has to have a free mind to achieve full potential.
Brilliantly written ! Patriarchy still prevails in many parts of India and the movie “ The great Indian Kitchen” brings it out clearly that in a highly literate state like Kerala where women are equally literate, the women are reduced to becoming home- makers without pursuing their own dreams of a career and even if she dares to walk out of such marriage to get her independence , nothing changes for the men as she is replaced by another women going through the same motions and grind of pleasing the males of the house with no change in their mind-sets but she has to tuck away all her talents and desires of an economic independent life and go through the motions and be a doormat in the house to appease the male ego and their whims and fancies. This still prevails and may our Country awake to this unjust ways and mothers bring up their sons differently not expecting the women to be at their beck and call 24x7 . The double X chromosomed women needs to be truly liberated and this will happen only when XY chromosomed males /counter parts understand this injustice and pluck out the deep rooted attitude and behaviour from their genes which will bring about a harmonious balance and a sense of equity and then independence will have its true meaning in every house - hold with the Tiranga flying over every liberated and just household ! Jai Hind 🇮🇳