Filter Coffee #127
From Bali, Indonesia & Changi Airport
Hello, dear readers. I got a few interesting comments on FC #126:
Manivannan says: “Nice post. Learnt a new phrase today. I was reminded of my German boss who used to be 'on the wagon' for the first 3 months of the year and then 'drink like fish' for the rest of the year :) I have not seen anyone who drank like him and kept fit at the same time.”
Ramana Sista ruefully commented : “I tried to drown my worries in liquor only to find that they, the worries, are all expert swimmers.”
Tarun Kunzru made this ‘tongue-in-cheek’ comment: “On the wagon, I am optimistic. Off the wagon, I am misty optically.”
📃 Bucket List
All of us have a bucket list which we strive to tick off as efficiently as we all can. The phrase ‘bucket list’ is quite popular, but many, including me, are unaware of its origin. Bali was on our bucket list. Our meaning, both my wife and I had it on our respective bucket lists. So, it is obvious that unless an item is on the bucket list of both husband and wife, checking it off is a bit hard unless each decides to do it solo, albeit in the company of other like-minded persons. My wife, for example, has been on a ‘ladies only’ tour to see places which I wasn’t keen on.
My own research indicates that the term ‘bucket list’ relates to all the things that we have not been able to do before but would like to accomplish before we ‘kick the bucket’.
Interestingly, ‘bucket list’ does not confine itself to the tangible, but will extend to many things that are intangible. Like someone’s grandfather would want to see his granddaughter married while he is still alive. A case of checking an item off his bucket list before he kicked the bucket.
A bucket list could include certain matters that are important to us and those that we wish to experience. If I may cite something personal, my desire was to visit Disneyland with my granddaughter and behave like a kid myself, which I accomplished a few years ago.
A friend of mine came to me the other day and requested I draw up a Will for him. He wanted to settle his property on his children in a certain fashion before he passed away. Clearly, the execution of the Will was on his bucket list.
Experiencing something could be in one’s bucket list. Some want to go up in a hot air balloon, some want to do bungee jumping and some want to go on a pilgrimage. I know of a family whose elder citizen decided to live in Varanasi (Benares) as he wished to die there and get cremated on one of the many ghats (a stone platform) on the banks of river Ganges, in the firm belief of his soul attaining salvation.
An item in the bucket could be value based. You come to know that a friend whose family helped you see through your college days is now in dire straits, and you feel that before you pass on you should find a way to help the family without making your friend feel that you are repaying him or returning the favour in some manner, as that might belittle him or hurt his pride.
Some people have in mind a milestone and, on reaching that, they wish to do something that lives on even after they die, like creating a trust for educating young girls in the village in which they were born. A way of giving back to the community that supported you. The list is aspirational and a reflection of one’s hope of accomplishing things as they foresee during their lifetime. Not everything on the list may be accomplished. That really does not matter. The list is directional — some items may come your way and some may not. Some you can afford and some you cannot.
While describing ‘bucket list’ as things that one would like to do before ‘kicking the bucket’, one cannot help wondering when and how the phrase ‘kicking the bucket’ originated.
The word bucket is derived from the French word 'buquet'. A possible explanation is that a person who commits suicide by hanging might stand on an inverted bucket and then kick the bucket to die. Does this imply that a bucket list is prepared in contemplation of death?
Is a bucket list used only in the context of death? The bucket list has now become a way to denote a list of things a person wants to accomplish before a specific event in their lives. If two friends were planning on doing something together and if one were to predecease the other, it is quite likely that the surviving friend may strike that thing off his bucket list.
Consequently, preparing a ‘bucket list’ is a tangible recognition of mortality. Ironically, I have the following dismal tidings that support this recognition.
Dear Readers, a dear friend of mine of many years, came to me a few months ago and said
“Pras, life is uncertain. Before I die, I wish to leave a Will to make sure my wife and children have no problems.” I then told him “What are you saying Hari? You are good to go for many more years.” Well, he had in his bucket a “Will” and I helped him tick that item off the bucket list. It came as a rude shock when I got a message that Hari died of a heart attack on the 5th of January and as I am struggling to complete this while in transit at Changi, I cannot help feeling overwhelmed by his untimely demise. RIP Hari.
The news of Hari’s demise, the hectic travel schedule, lack of connectivity and transiting through airports have robbed me of the time I need to do justice to this edition. I seek your understanding if I stop here. See you next week! Take care.