FC 158 elicited quite a few comments.
My friend Sundharesan, who hasn’t commented on any of my posts so far, felt compelled by the last few lines of FC 158. He says: “The closing remarks were so good that for the first time, I decided to comment on your post as I know you will not complain that I did not comment earlier, and I will not be required to explain either.”
Tarun Kunzru said: “Like in everything else, there is a good side and a bad side! Long-winded explainers and habitual complainers are insufferable for sure. But, constructively raising an issue and providing clarity through cogent explanation is an essential ingredient of productive discussion.”
Tapas Bhattasaly says: “Great read! A complaint couched in a question may fetch a useful explanation.”
Cdr. Santhanam says: “Complaining can be used to seek resolutions, and explaining may improve understanding. “
Shahji Jacob says: “I still wonder how you can recall what you wrote aeons ago. You are indeed concerned for your readers. That’s also probably the reason for the longevity of FC. The joke about not being able to complain and being able to complain was indeed satirical.”
Shereyar Vakil says: “He that hath no faith complains, and no explanation is possible. He that hath faith no explanation is necessary.”
Before I begin to write this post let me say that I almost missed posting this edition of FC. For the past 4 days I have been in Delhi attending an event organised by Legal Era, which featured a galaxy of speakers navigating through a host of legal topics and I did not have much time on my hands. I am not complaining but explaining that I had very little time to devote to this post. So, please bear with me if this post turns out to be a bit shorter than usual.
🐘 Elephant in the Room
This phrase became proverbial when in 1814, Ivan Krylov (1769–1844), a poet and fabulist (a person who tells fables), wrote a fable entitled “The Inquisitive Man”, in which a man goes to a museum and notices all sorts of tiny things, but fails to notice an elephant.
This idiom is about deliberately avoiding discussing an issue that might trigger an argument or cause embarrassment or hurt feelings. It is not as if that issue will go away if ignored or left undiscussed. It remains, like an elephant in the room, its presence felt but pretentiously unseen.
The issue may well be important but may cause discomfiture if spoken about openly, so the people who are acutely aware of that issue decide that discussing it is best avoided.
It is not necessary that the issue should concern the people present. It could be an issue that could evoke divergent views, which, if aired, might leave people emotionally charged. Some issues are left unspoken for fear of being judgemental.
Views expressed over a particular subject may go unchallenged if this idiom plays out. The reluctance to challenge an unacceptable view may stem from fear of confrontation and its perceived consequences. The issue, at times, may be such that each individual in a group has a view but the divergence of all the views collectively is so pronounced that convergence becomes an impossibility.
The elephant is conspicuous by its sheer size and its imposing presence. An issue, which is idiomatically the elephant in the room, may be significant and yet is relegated to the realm of stubborn silence. People prefer to be tongue-tied than to give tongue to their thoughts.
I saw a movie and a serial that dealt with the woes and the plight of the transgender and greater LGBT community. This community feels a sense of alienation. For many years, the issues concerning this community were like the elephant in the room. It is only recently that the elephant has been seen and spoken about by activists, with the lawmakers and the judiciary prodding the proverbial elephant to gingerly step out of that proverbial room and gain attention and respectability.
There are many issues which need discussion but are often swept under the carpet. I am reminded of the plight of the differently abled and impaired lot. When I was a kid, people around me either ridiculed and made fun of them, or just took pity on their plight. Later, this was considered inappropriate, and yet instead of addressing their concern, the elephant was herded into a room, and it was only many years later that its presence was felt. Politically correct phrases like physically or mentally challenged came to be used, which then got refined into differently abled, visually impaired, hearing impaired etc. I personally believe that these are jargons used to demonstrate that the society looks at them through the lens of civil rights, but the elephant is still half in and half out of the room.
Hushed tones are often heard outside the room when people feel awkward talking about what’s in the room. In a professional set up of any kind, the dominating superior is seldom challenged for fear of incurring his or her displeasure, of insubordination or even of losing one's job. This poses a different challenge when the superior is asking his reportee to find a work around a legal requirement or even bend the law, implying that it’s okay if you have to break it. The elephant in the room is now looked at through the prism of morality and proprietary. The reportee has to either carry the cross or walk away leaving the elephant behind.
You might be familiar with the elephant & the blind men fable. The elephant is described by each one of them as they felt it. However, each person has felt a different part of the animal, giving each a different, wildly inaccurate picture of what an elephant actually looks like. This happens in real life when people refuse to acknowledge that a problem exists but give their own perceptions and explanations as to its existence instead of collectively resolving it.
All of us at one time or the other have found ourselves with an elephant in the room. Sometimes we rely on discretion and not fear, to ignore it. At other times taking cognisance of it may result in value judgement.
To end in a lighter vein:
A person walks into a counsellor's room and finds a big poster of an elephant. He then asks “why have you put up the poster?”. The counsellor says” Ah! A good start to our counselling session. Thanks for addressing the elephant in the room.”
Until next week, take care and be safe. Ciao.
Loved reading this FC and for that matter each and every FCcyou churn out Sunday after Sunday despite your pre-occupations of travel !
You are truly a walking talking encyclopaedia and a treasure trove bubbling with ideas , topics and experiences to share that you’re unstoppable and may your penchant for writing and sharing these FCs continue for us to savour , enjoy , relax and get rejuvenated to face the week ahead ! Kudos to your eloquent writing skills . Talking of stories of elephants in our childhood was reminded of the story of the elephant and the tailor and how the tailor was taught a lesson by it for pricking him with a nice spray of water showered on him . Mute animals also have ways to teach many lessons . Elephantine memory is what few are gifted with and you are blessed with which is evident from each of your FCs which are fountains of knowledge .
Looking forward to your subsequent FCs eagerly .👍👌🙏💐👏
About the elephant in the room, individual perception is subjective. Different individuals might genuinely have different understandings on an issue without intentionally wanting to avoid it. Their perceptions might be based on their experiences, values, and understanding, rather than an intentional refusal to acknowledge the problem.