I received some nice comments on FC 165.
S G Murali points out: “Talking about ducks and cricket, who can forget the record of our great Agarkar in Australia? In one innings he scored just one run and then in the next seven innings in a row, he scored ducks.”
Tarun says: “Old cliche - If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. This is so true! Having said that, when it comes to creative pursuits, it helps to not over plan. It leaves room for spur-of-the-moment innovation.”
Lakshmi Raman says: “I must say that I enjoyed the cartoons that accompanied your FC post this week. Ducks are cute, but cuter when not in a row as seen in the Disney cartoons! Life in India has so many unforeseen and unpredictable elements that even when I am organized (and I am pretty organized) I find that I not only have to keep my ducks in a row but also another row of ducks as backup. Which makes us among the most resilient people in the world, not sitting ducks.”
🤔 Writer’s Dilemma
I’ve been travelling since the 10th of this month and was unable to get started penning my post which is due on the 15th. I am now in Delhi for a couple of days and am in a dilemma as to what I should be writing. Hence, the title of this post.
Like all other writers, I too grapple with the problem of writing something that is born out of inspiration and conceptualisation. It is not similar to ‘writer's block’ which essentially leaves the writer clueless.
The first dilemma is not about what to write but to whom it is aimed. I know, you guys, my readers. From experience and your own comments, I believe I am expected to write a piece that makes an engaging read.
Having participated in multiple sessions on alternate dispute resolution over the past few days, my mind is struggling to zero in on a topic I could write on.
This has resulted in a dilemma as to whether I should write about dispute resolution or something that appeals to my readers. I had written about mediation as a means of resolving disputes way back in August 2020. You can check it out 🔗here.
Since then mediation has gained a lot of ground, and it has received statutory recognition with the passage of the Mediation Act of 2023. Interestingly, the Act came into force on the 9th of October, just a couple of days back. Of course, not all the provisions have taken effect. Still, it has been a step in the right direction to ease the burden on the courts and to promote party autonomy, which essentially means that if parties have created a dispute, they are quite capable of resolving it, if they involved a mediator who facilitates a resolution without imposing on them his own opinion as to how the dispute should be resolved.
I realise that it would be rather taxing on my reader’s mind if I get into the legalities of mediation, but it would be helpful if I pointed out that most of my readers would have experienced mediation in some way or the other. Imagine two of your best friends having a serious misunderstanding leading to their estrangement. You would be keen to broker peace. You are in a way acting as a mediator in a practical sense—you won’t take sides, but help them realise that the estrangement was a product of misunderstanding. Your standing and the trust you enjoy will prompt them to pay heed to your words of reason and shake hands.
Mothers are very effective mediators. If her children come to her complaining about each other she will not take sides but cajole them into believing that neither is at fault. Mothers are acutely aware of the consequences of supporting one sibling and putting the other down.
Irreconcilable differences between spouses often result in estrangement and eventually lead to judicial separation. Marriage counsellors can be of great help in helping spouses realise the possibilities of living in harmony without making either of them feel that he or she is at fault.
There is this anecdote about a husband and wife trying to settle a divorce. During mediation, which has been going on for days, the husband who wants to avoid the divorce offers the wife the house, the cars, and all the money in the bank. The mediator, who has been listening to both for hours, looks at the wife questioningly. The wife tells the mediator “I want him to listen to me like you do”
Whether it be a friend, mother or counsellor, the approach that each of them adopts to achieve rapprochement is not adversarial, but facilitative. In essence, by remaining neutral, each engages in trust-building in their own way.
Mediation has been quite successful in resolving family disputes. A person of stature who enjoys the trust of the parties at loggerheads typically acts as a mediator. By emphasising the need to maintain cordial familial relationships and by adopting a give-and-take approach, the mediator is able to bring the families together while ensuring that there is a ‘win-win’ outcome for both parties.
It is often said that the oldest case of ‘failed mediation’ is that of the efforts Lord Krishna made to avert the war between the Pandavas & the Kauravas. This does not mean mediation does not succeed. It only points to the possibility of rivalry and animosity perpetuating if parties to a dispute refuse to seek wise counsel.
Given its benefits, mediation helps people meditate on the problem and this meditation can well make mediation the medication to dispel the ills of discord. The figure below illustrates the benefit of mediation.
Reverting to the caption of this post, I believe my own anxiety about my readers finding what I write uninteresting induced a dilemma. So, as a remediation, I decided to write about mediation, in simpler terms:
My dilemma continues, and I can’t make up my mind what else to write. So, I will end it in a lighter vein:
In a dispute between an elephant and a rhino, the giraffe was asked to mediate, but he refused saying “I don’t want to stick my neck out”
Three kids were fighting over an apple. Mother, the mediator, tells them that the one who listens to me, respects me and obeys me will get the apple. The kids look at each other and say “let's go and play, that apple is for dad.”
See you next week. Take care and be safe.
Ciao.
Eloquent as always, the last para was the icing on the cake. 😀
Mediator has to play the role of a catalyst - bring about change/resolve a dispute between people without undergoing a change him/herself. Given that this person is human, I often wonder how a mediator or counselor stays neutral given we have our own biases and value systems. It's a tough job.