Filter Coffee #186

On Dismal Tidings, Destiny & Fate

Hello dear readers, I received some interesting comments on FC 185:

KBR Murthy says: “I have seen The Lion King many times with my granddaughters but even as we enjoyed the song, we never understood the conversation as lucidly put by you. Hats off to your good efforts.”

Tarun Kunzru says: “One of my favourite communications on ‘worry’ is the song By Bobby McFerrin—Don't Worry, Be Happy! It's catchy, simple and genuinely calm karti hai!! I use the phrase ‘don't worry, chicken curry!’ a lot on the golf course when we hit a bad shot or land the ball in the rough. It's catchy and lightens the mood.”

Shereyar Vakil says: “Dear Pras, an excellent article as always. HAKUNA MATATA… I am on the horns of a dilemma. Does ‘no worries’ mean I am being polite to someone even if I am hurting inside, OR does it mean I should move on and not worry about the past. In the first case am I faking, and in the second case am I being resilient? Hakuna Matata.”

🔮 Dismal Tidings | Destiny | Fate

The passing away of a cousin is rather painful. I experienced that pain and I felt that the summons from the court above was premature, unjust and annoying. But when the dear departed was in a state of agony and his maker decided to relieve him, who am I to complain?

Wait, I am not done yet. Who subjected him to such agony, in the first place? If he was ill-fated to sustain a debilitating injury in an accident, is it his maker who decides his fate? Why make and break, Mr. Maker? An inherent contradiction. Was my departed cousin destined to meet with an accident as the only means to meet his maker, but after what seemed an interminable wait, and in the interregnum suffer?

All my readers who have angst against ‘vidhi’ or fate will understand the emotions experienced by the near and dear ones of the demised near-dear. We have a different disposition to the old & ailing slipping away and the young dropping dead or their life being snatched. When old and ailing die, we become very philosophical and celebrate in muted words the liberation of the soul from its earthly miseries. When a young person dies after illness, or dies on a treadmill trying to remain fit or dies on the road killed in pursuit of thrill, we struggle to come to terms with the reality. We might call it an unjust intervention by the maker holding a pair of scissors and wielding it more mercilessly than would the censor board.

Why do we perceive fate negatively? Is it because it is associated with something bad? Are fate and destiny poles apart? If something good happens, it is attributed to either luck or destiny. If something bad happens, it is fate. By that logic, if an air crash occurs, the plane is ill-fated. If someone missed getting on that flight, he was destined to be alive.

‘Fate’ comes from the Latin word Fatum meaning ‘that which has been spoken’. Therefore, through the ages, fate has come to be associated with that which has been predetermined for our lives. This predetermination is not always true. Fate can be something outside your control. It snatches something away or cuts short something unexpectedly. You undertake something prone to risks or undertake an activity risking your life. If something bad were to happen to you, then you are ill-fated. If you succeed in climbing Everest, you are destined to be a hero among mountaineers.

A person’s destiny and future are intertwined. Coming from the Latin term destinare, which means intended or firmly established, destiny hasn’t already been determined. Therefore, the choices that you make will influence your destiny in life. If you set your sights on something big, you are destined to either fail or succeed. It is not fate that you did not succeed. It is the choices that you make, the paths you choose and the means you adopt that determine failure or success. It is like saying “If you walk through the woods not sure of the way to your destination, you are destined to lose your way”. Contrast with this: “He knew his way through the woods but was ill-fated to encounter a predator.”

Rather than letting things simply happen in life, destiny is about making the right moves and actively working towards our goal of fulfilment. If you fail, you are not destined to succeed. But while working towards your goal, you take chances, then you are letting an unknown factor interfere with your work.

“Your destiny is the result of the choices that you make, which paths you take in life.”
— Paulo Coelho

It is quite possible that while in pursuit of your destiny, a chance encounter may either prompt you to forge ahead or help you pause and reconsider your options. Imagine bumping into a friend in a coffee shop and during the conversation, you mention that you are considering a job switch. The friend may either endorse your views or dissuade you for good reasons. You take his views, decide against the switch and later thank your stars when the company which you were considering joining is in big trouble, or you could go by his endorsement of your decision to switch and reach the position that you aspired for. 

Can serendipity be equated to chance or fate? Serendipity is the phenomenon of finding something valuable even though not sought for. It is the occurrence of events by chance happily or beneficially. Fate is something that happens to a person. Fate could be an adverse outcome, but serendipity is about the pleasure of chancing upon a thing not necessarily in one’s contemplation. Luck and serendipity may have some similarities, though serendipity is about finding something unexpectedly whereas luck could be to get something expected. But please remember that there’s something called bad luck, but no such thing can be said about serendipity. 

Happenstance, stumbling upon, fluke and blessing are some of the synonyms of serendipity. If you want to use it in a sentence, you could say, “It was serendipitous that he bought a lottery ticket out of pity from a street vendor, and it turned out to be the winner.”

Dear Readers, in life we take the rough with the smooth and do not always get to read something pleasurable. We may wish to read something to ponder over. So, please bear with me and let me know your reaction to this somewhat morbid narrative. 

That said, let me end it in a lighter vein:

Q: What is the difference between an economic recession and a broken-down escalator? 

A: One is a terrible state of affairs, the other is a terrible fate of stairs.

Until next week, take care. Ciao!