Dear readers, ‘Of Fence & Offence’ fetched some interesting comments:
Krupa Murthy: “Every sip of your articles, including your latest, is so beautifully expressed and enriching and thought-provoking to the reader! I am certain that I am a fence sitter when it comes to crucial opinions and decisions. Love to continue as your cousin and keep receiving your brilliant concoctions!!!”
Lakshmi Raman: “I enjoyed reading about fences—of all kinds. I was reminded of Robert Frost’s poem in which he wonders ‘… What I was walling in or walling out’. Putting up a fence has connotations of both ‘keeping something or someone out and something in’. Interesting thought that you had me thinking along with my cup of tea this Sunday morning!”
Damandeep: “What a wonderful Sunday morning wordplay. I couldn’t have imagined one could use a simple word fence in so many ways, and it has so many connotations. Certainly not fencing my thoughts on this Sunday’s filter coffee! Just this morning, considering the heat wave, I was on the fence about stepping out for a walk. Would not fence my knowledge gathered through these blogs.”
Tarun Kunzru: “‘Sitting on the fence’ on matters such as politics and religion is a smart thing. But on matters of principles and leadership, it is a sign of weakness and dereliction of your duty. The most visible ‘Ring fence’ is the wedding ring!!”
M R Karthik: “Another amazing deep dive on the simple word ‘fence’. Truly the art of playing around with words is an art and am honoured to be so closely associated with an exponent of the same named MRP!! Let’s not forget a very underrated Olympic sport also called fencing where you have 2 people in armour from head to toe wielding long swords where one is trying to outdo the other.”
Dr. Naina Rani: “Brilliant as usual, another cuppa that invigorates us for a week. Enjoy it week after week, looking forward to the next cups being served. I have not been a fence-sitter at any time in my life and whether the other person likes it or not have I been candid about my views. I feel fence-sitters- sitters though are liked by most people for their diplomacy and tact, they lose out on an opportunity to set right the record.”
Here’s a joke which I had left out:
Q: Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
A: Because everyone is dying to get in.
💭Down Memory Lane
I just concluded a long chat with a very senior colleague at the Aditya Birla Group, with whom I, as the in-house counsel, had the opportunity of working on many transactions spanning over many years. We spoke for a good thirty minutes and walked down memory lane, which was quite chequered with opportunities that came to fruition and those that we missed or did not pursue. He preferred a muted celebration of success and had a detached attitude to lost opportunities. He would tell me that everyone must learn to ‘Take the rough with the smooth’ not just in business but in our ordinary life as well. We worked in different jurisdictions on diverse transactions that contributed to the growth of ABG, both organically and inorganically. There were lucky breaks and speed bumps on the way, but those were to be expected. We also worked on divestments and these had their peculiar challenges. On the whole, our walk down memory lane was indeed nostalgic. Now, time to get back to the real world.
Way back in 1924, Bud de Sylva wrote a song called ‘Memory Lane’ and several singers including Dean Martin sang it. The lyrics of that song describe the nostalgic journey through the past, where the singer revisits his old love and dreams. Check out these few lines of that song:
"Come, let us stroll down memory lane. Let's live those moments once again. Let's wander back to where we met, and try to banish all regret."
Interestingly, it was only in 1965 that the idiom “Go down memory lane” came to be used. It appeared in a press report covering the re-union of WWII veterans which said, “They went down memory lane, recalling incidents that happened during their training days and the later years.”
There’s no doubt that the college reunions and other such gatherings will see the alumni reliving the campus life and laughing at the funny incidents that peppered their academic sojourn. Some might even laugh at the ragging they endured, which they had resented at that time. Memory Lane seemed to smoothen all the rough edges as the alumni walked down and all memories were happy memories.
By and large, ‘Go down memory lane’ means to think back or talk about the past, especially the happy or pleasant moments. It is often used when people want to share their memories with others.
Dwelling in the past is akin to reliving those moments which cannot be undone or made better.
This lane is punctuated with varied degrees of regret, which may make the person agonise over his indiscretion and in the process open the wounds, subverting the healing touch of time. Some dwell in the past, wallowing in self-pity, convincing themselves that life has been unfair to them and has made them suffer unreasonably. Such people may well refuse to acknowledge that they may have brought it on themselves. Unpleasant memories not only hurt them, but also haunt them. As they walk down memory lane they blame people, circumstances and their stars.
To my mind, dwelling in the past is not the same as walking down memory lane, simply for the reason that it is more like a soliloquy. A memory lane walk involves at least two persons, each regaling the other with the recollection of events gone. One might say why can’t a person walk alone down memory lane? Well, that is more like re-living the past by just that person. It does not have the shared feeling that walking together brings about.
When we look at photographs or pictures or movies, we tend to relive the moments we had with that person or place. This may make you feel you are walking down memory lane but in reality, you are reminiscing or remembering. Some of them may be sweet memories. Contrast this with nostalgia, which again is not the same as walking down memory lane. Nostalgia, as you all know, is a sense of longing and symbolises a deep connection to someone or something or some place. However, ‘go down memory lane’ is more idiomatic and metaphorical, while ‘reminisce’ is more literal and formal.
All of us have experienced negative events in our lives. Some may leave us lost and broken.
Like losing a dear person to cancer, losing custody of a child, or going through a bitter divorce. These events should not be perpetuated in one's memory. On the contrary, one should consciously recognise that these are systemic outcomes and not blame one's fate for such events befalling.
Memory lane is akin to a garden path. At least that is what one should make it to be. Walking down that lane and recalling happy moments is what it is all about. Of course, if it is a garden path, thorns are to be expected with roses. You may remember a sad occurrence amidst many happy moments. That is just collateral, and they pale to insignificance in comparison to the sweetness of the memories.
We ought to live each day with a deliberate intention to enjoy beautiful moments. Unforgettable memories will rekindle lovely moments from your past because you’ll never forget the special memories deep within your heart. ‘Walking down memory lane’ is to think back or talk about the past, especially the happy or pleasant moments. It is often used when people want to share their memories with others or relive them in their minds. I request my readers to share their experiences of walking down memory lane.
This is a nice quote by an anonymous writer:
“Memories play a very confusing role, they can make us laugh when we remember the times we cried, but can make us cry when we remember the times we laughed!”
Now to end in a lighter vein;
As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. - Sir Norman Wisdom
Until next week, take good care of yourselves and take a nice walk down your memory lane.
Thank you Damandep. Memories can be picture perfect as your experience shows. Each picture is a snapshot of our fleeting life. Capture them as much as you can for reminiscing later.
For those interested in music the Carpenters’ “Yesterday once more” is a lovely song.