Filter Coffee #256

On Age is Just a Number

Bengaluru

Dear readers, here are the comments on FC 255:

• Mani Srinivasan says: “My first experience with WFH was way back in 2001 when I joined IBM. It was an alien concept for me, and I was not a big fan. I might have used this privilege for no more than a total of 10 days in my 17 years of life at IBM until my retirement. I believe that WFH may increase productivity but reduce innovation. Water cooler conversations are very important in a research and development setup. I always preferred walking to someone’s cabin or office when I needed something rather than picking up the phone. Of course, COVID brought a different dimension to this concept and also has brought this inertia in people to get back to their office even after things have become normal. I guess the hybrid mode is a good compromise, addressing both productivity and innovation.”

• M R Karthik says: “The nuances of WFH have been beautifully brought about, and it's a key discussion point in many companies, with most employees returning to the office and issues of productivity loss being highlighted as a key factor. It's a tough proposition for client-facing and people management roles. Even in the thick of COVID, we went to work with a special pass, categorising us as essential workers. Rather than calling it WFH, the terminology used nowadays is "Flexible Working", wherein it is predominantly working from the office with an option of working from anywhere else as and when needed and with a clear caveat that specific days in a week are non-negotiable. Lastly, there is no denying the fact that virtual meetings have reduced travel costs drastically, with even day-long training done online using platforms like Microsoft Teams, Zoom and Google Meet offering features like breakout rooms and a plethora of controls for the meeting organiser.”

• Lakshmi Raman says: “Work from home and its perils! Well, I've been working from home these past 33 years since I left my full-time NGO job and began freelance work. In earlier years, it did involve a lot of travel for work, but the days I was in town, I enjoyed working from home, taking a nap, reading, cooking - the variety of activities involved when working from home as a woman. The flip side is that one works a lot more and a lot longer while WFH, whereas, at an office, it's not so. Well, COVID was a new experience for the whole world when WFH became an accepted mode of working. I don't think we will ever totally go back to the old mode, now that people have experienced the benefits of it.”

Preface

On Sunday, the 29th of June, I was invited to celebrate my dear friend Ashvini Ranjan’s 80th birthday, in his son’s facility at Koramangala. Close friends and family were in attendance. I am sure my readers would agree that when someone mentions their age, we exclaim, “Oh! How time flies!”. That was the refrain all through the morning. And many thought Ashvin didn’t look his age. Ask Ashvin, and he would agree for another reason—because his charming wife, Shashi, often tells him to ‘grow up’ just as my wife would to me. But Ashvin & I are on the same page: not in a hurry to grow up! 😀

The fact is that we feel young at heart and have no inhibitions about commiserating with older people and their ailments and shaking our legs to the music that the teenagers play at full volume. We prefer not to be called senior citizens. Ever since I was not permitted to sit on the emergency exit seat, I stopped mentioning my status while making the reservation. Thinking back, the guy who took my seat was no doubt young, but not as fit as I consider myself to be. You could ask me ‘if you were so fit, why didn’t you throw a fit when you were forced to change seats?’ Well, I am not exactly fond of being offloaded, that’s why!

The same thing with anniversaries and birthdays. A friend of mine, a little older than me, though, celebrated his 60th wedding anniversary surrounded by children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He got married when he was in his 20s, and that explains the diamond jubilee. As per tradition, he married his wife again, a symbolic ceremony to renew the pledges.

Ashvini & Shashi also exchanged garlands, a symbolic reaffirmation of the wedding vows.

As the ceremony wound down, and after the mandatory photo-op, I asked Ashvin, “Would you consider writing a guest post on ‘age is just a number’?” He readily agreed, and what's more, he sent the script within 24 hours! So, dear readers, sit back and enjoy reading this post which is about:

🎂 Age is Just a Number

‘Age is just a number’, a phrase I had often heard but understood only much later in life. And funnily, the lesson came to me from two unexpected corners: one, from a former domestic helper named Chenna and the other from the sky, quite literally and no jokes!

Back in the 1950s, my sister and I attended Good Shepherd School. Every morning, we rode a Tonga (a single-horse-driven carriage) from our home in Shivarampet. On certain days, the Tonga didn’t show up, which was, in fact, more often than one would expect. On those days of no-show, Chenna, our loyal domestic help, would ferry us to school on his bicycle.

While my six-year-old sister sat on the carrier at the back of the cycle, I sat on the crossbar in the front. Not the most comfortable ride. En route, he would regale us with stories. It was a good three-mile journey, and at the time, Chenna must have been around eighteen or twenty. Quiet, strong, dependable, and always smiling. He never once grumbled about the drudgery.

As years went by, Chenna moved on to better-paying jobs but would still drop by now and then. Especially during festivals, when there was a need for extra help. Besides the tip he received for the services, he carried home the sweets made for the occasion. After a few years, his visits became less frequent and stopped altogether.

Fast-forward to 2020, my 75th birthday. Expecting friends later that evening, I had gone to the local market for a few essentials. That’s when I heard someone call my name. I turned and saw a face that was weathered by time but warmed by familiarity. It was Chenna. Dressed in khaki, he looked aged, a little plump, though remarkably fit. He shook my hand with a firm grip and held onto it for a moment longer, his eyes filled with affection. “Still working?” I asked. “Of course”, he said in rural Kannada and grinned. “I drive an auto now.”

When I asked his age, he laughed and said, “I don’t know.” My mind began doing the math. He had to be well past ninety. If I am 75 and if I add another 18 years, he could well be 93! And yet, there he was, still active, still independent. He was curious to know about me, my family, my sister, the little girl who rode with us (now in her seventies), etc. I extended him an invitation to visit our home sometime. The wide grin was an acceptance.

As I walked back home, my thoughts turned introspective. I had been told to stop jogging, cycling, and even driving, not because I was unfit, but simply because of my age. Everything was reduced to a number. But there was Chenna, proving otherwise. He listened to his body, not to a calendar.

The phrase ‘Age is just a number’ means exactly that. Your age doesn’t have to define who you are or what you can do. Your mindset, energy, enthusiasm, and willpower count for much more. Globally, life expectancy has risen beyond seventy and continues to climb. Thanks to advances in science and medicine. Retiring at sixty today is often akin to quitting in your prime. Millions live for two or three decades after retirement. If these years aren’t put to productive or fulfilling use, it’s both a personal and national loss.

The key lies in physical fitness and mental agility. Regular exercise and a disciplined lifestyle are essential. But beyond fitness tests and lab reports, the greatest indicator of health is your own body. It speaks to you through signs like fatigue, strength, joy, etc. Ignoring them is folly. At the same time, overestimating one’s abilities without discretion is risky. Striking a balance is the secret.

As a young man, I was fascinated with flying. In college, I joined the NCC Air Wing. My father was unimpressed. He wanted a successor for his business, not a pilot. The dream of flying remained tucked away, overpowered by obligations. But at sixty, it resurfaced. When I expressed a desire to learn to fly, my wife assumed I was joking. “Good luck finding someone willing to teach an old man to fly,” she laughed. I hadn’t told her that I had done my homework on the rules to fly. There was no age bar for learning to fly if one was medically fit. I joined a flying school in Mysore and flew solo at sixty-two.

At seventy, I learnt scuba diving. At seventy-two, I leapt out of an aircraft from 13,000 feet, harnessed to a professional, of course, experiencing the adrenaline rush of a tandem skydive.

Each of these milestones was not an act of rebellion against age but an affirmation of life. They reminded me that the walls we build around ourselves are often self-imposed. Society may be obsessed with numbers, but the spirit has no age.

Today, as I look around, I see many like Chenna who continue to work not just out of necessity but out of dignity and resilience. I see retired professionals mentoring young minds, and senior citizens learning new skills, picking up musical instruments, or writing books. I see people living life.

Ageing isn’t always the most fun thing in the world, but it sure can be funny if you approach it with a lighthearted attitude. Joking about getting older—and the assorted health and life problems that come with it—can take some of the sting out of ageing. Plus, science shows laughing is good for your health and well-being.

So, if there’s a dream you've shelved, a passion you've paused, or a plan you've postponed because of your age, take another look. Your body, your will, and your spirit might be more ready than you think. After all, age truly is just a number.

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Dear Readers, I hope you liked Ashvin’s concept of ‘Age is a number’. Do write in your comments and your thoughts about age.

To end in a lighter vein:

• “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind getting older, then it really doesn’t matter.”
  -Mark Twain

• “You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”
  - George Bernard Shaw

• Age is a relative thing. Don’t let your relatives remind you how old you are.

Until next week, take care and be safe. Ciao!