Filter Coffee #132
On Foot in the Door, Foot in the Mouth
The Zeigarnik effect made many readers promptly post their comments on FC #131.
Tarun Kunzru’s to-do list: “Have to do is work-related: satisfaction! | Like to do is interest-related: enjoyment! | Must do is wife related.-Relief! | Live by the adage: A stitch in time saves nine.”
Uma Shashikant says: “I now know that I push a task out and finish it close to the deadline because that maximizes the joys of completing it. Additionally, I remember it without effort, ha! Those little doses of anxiety, I shall live with for the adrenalin rush close to completion!”
Prabha Iyengar says: “I am touched by the fact that you were inspired to write on this subject after getting my humble WhatsApp text. You have done an excellent job analyzing the concept thoroughly and in detail with expert inputs. Congratulations! I hope to inspire you this way in the future, too.”
Ashvini Ranjan says: “Every task one wishes to perform generally gets processed in the brain and gets prioritized. After that, the Zeigarnik effect kicks in when the task remains unfinished. But the chores my wife shortlists as ‘To Do’ gets processed in my brain as ‘Do it now’! It bypasses the brain and is communicated directly to the limbs. Consequently, a comment to share about Filter Coffee is procrastinated as it requires the attention it truly deserves.”
Amber says: “Newton's first law of motion perhaps scientifically explains the best root cause of procrastination! May the force be with you and all of us- procrastinators”
Dr. Naina says: “I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I have a bucket list of unfinished tasks accumulated over the busy and hectic years in my medical field. I am sorting them out and prioritizing them one by one. It is worth doing, however late it may be in the day, without getting stressed out thinking of the time lost or seeing the long list of unfinished things. Feel good every time one is picked up from the bucket and put out on the clothesline to dry 😊.”
Preeta Arun says: “I learned about ZE when I was studying psychology. It made a lot of sense, and I remember understanding when it was at play in various situations. Also, if you think of completed tasks as neatly packed boxes, all done and dusted, placed neatly at the back of your mind, then those open boxes, untidy and things spilling out are always at the top of your mind and calling out to be closed up. An unfinished task makes you uneasy, causes a low level of agitation- and also gives you the feeling that you have ‘forgotten something’! Now after typing all this and if I get distracted or forget to post it … I’m sure Zeigarnik will be tapping and dancing all day long in my mind !!!! :)”
February 14th is Valentine's Day. I have written about this in 🔗FC # 33. Please read to know more.
🦶 Pie en la Puerta - Pie en la Boca
You must be wondering what is this gibberish. Well, my dear wife has enrolled herself in a “learn Spanish in ten days” class which, according to Google translate, means ‘aprende español en diez dias’. Not to be left behind, I decided to go online to check the Spanish equivalents of English Idioms – in this case, ‘foot in the door & foot in the mouth’.
‘Pie en la puerta’ in Spanish means ‘foot in the door’ and ‘pie en la boca’ means ‘foot in the mouth’.
Since I have no intention of getting my foot in the door of the Spanish classroom, my focus is only on not putting my foot in the mouth by claiming to have any interest in Spanish. But, hola, both idioms are quite interesting and so, here I am, trying to share my thoughts.
The other day a boy, whom I have been mentoring, told me that he had been called for a company interview and that after the interview, which went well, he never heard back from the company. Upon my probing, he mentioned that among the many questions was the question “How much do you know about our company?” and his (honest) answer was “I know nothing about your company.” He realized a little too late that he may have stymied the prospects of getting an employment offer. True enough, he did not hear from that company again.
The boy had a foot in the door, but then he put his foot in the mouth when he said he knew nothing about his potentially future employer.
The phrases are not joined at the hip, and it is not as if the latter is always tied to the former. You can get a foot in the door and make an opportunity of it. Or just when you have the foot in the door, you might say something stupid without realising that you have put your foot in the mouth. It is also possible that you put your foot in the mouth independent of the proverbial door.
In our life, opportunities come our way and some go unnoticed, some ignored, some scoffed at and some taken seriously. Each opportunity means ‘foot in the door’. You can choose to enter and explore, or simply let the door shut in your face. As a kid, I was fascinated by ‘knock-knock’ jokes. Here’s one that fits into the context:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Don’t be silly,
Opportunity knocks only once!
The import of this joke is that each time you get a foot in the door, it is an opportunity for you to test the terrain and see if it is worth taking another step forward. It is an American phrase said to be in vogue since 1914 when it appeared in the “Oakland Tribune”. It was used in the context of salesmen knocking on the door and getting a foot in to prevent the door from being shut in their faces.
The Foot in The Door Technique (FITD) was first coined by Jonathan Freedman and Scott Fraser of Stanford University in 1966. This technique is a way of making a small request and ending up getting something more from the customer. Like a person comes to your door and offers a product for a much lesser price than you might imagine and sweet-talks you into buying more than you had intended by making a ‘Buy three to get two free’ offer. Freedman & Fraser conducted a study to try to prove this theory that granting smaller requests can lead to agreeing to larger requests. An insurance salesman can approach you to take out a policy for a modest sum, and you end up buying a much larger cover when he plays the ‘future of your child’ card.
The other technique is called DIFT, the ‘door in the face technique’. It is the reverse of FITD. It is like a mind game. You influence a person to give you something if not everything you ask for. The technique is used when you are worried that someone may shut the door in your face, saying no, you let them say no to a larger request but end up giving you something less.
Imagine, a person approaches you seeking a large loan and the conversation veers around to the fact that you cannot afford to give him such a large sum. However, you eventually end up giving him a much smaller amount, whilst you could have shut the door in his face. The DIFT technique is used in different forms, and we do not even realize that it is being played on us. I fall for sob stories. Instead of shutting the door, I part with a small sum without expecting it to be returned.
I have known people who have been persuaded to give a personal guarantee for a loan that they could not advance. Quite a risky proposition. Please read 🔗FC #016 to know more.
I don’t know if any of you have encountered pandas in the temples in the east. They use both FITD and DIFT alternatingly and effectively. They offer to take you through a shortcut to the sanctum for a tidy sum, and when you try to walk away you are approached by another guy who offers to do it for half the sum. By now, you are wary of jostling your way through the crowd, and you end up agreeing to pay him. Once you are inside, he ups the ante and asks you to pay for this pooja or that pooja or for getting the Prashad. And when you come out, he convinces you to pay him more than what was originally agreed.
An interesting aspect of FITD is when you are enticed by a salesperson who says, “Come, Madam, just see what we have. No pressure to buy, Ma’am”. Once you go in, he shows so many things saying “just see Ma’am” and at the slightest hint that you like something, he offers you a “very good discount” and you end up buying it. I urge you to read my post 🔗FC #085 which deals with many aspects of shopping.
All of us at some point or other have said something which made us look foolish or feel embarrassed. I have done it many times. The most used expression has been ‘same to you or ‘you too’. “My hearty condolences” have been acknowledged with ‘same to you’ or after checking in, when the agent says ‘have a nice flight’ and I have said ‘You too”.
It is like a guy who went to a funeral and at the end of it all went to the grieving widow and said, “Thank you, I’m so happy I came.”
FITM Award was instituted in 1993 and was given to the best gaffe by a celebrity or public figure. See 🔗Foot in Mouth Award - Wikipedia
I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day. Here’s valentine PJ to smile at:
Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love?
They're getting married in the spring!
See you next week. Take good care of yourself.
When I am bereft of ideas to write about, I run randomwordgenerator.com to get a phrase to start my next story. Guess what is the connection? Your wife signing up for a Spanish Language Course!